Okay so the networks have decided we are morons who want to watch shows about know -nothing housewives who are in “reality”; just a bunch of crazy women we wouldn’t give the time of day to otherwise. Look if her brain dead husband doesn’t even want to listen to her gripe about her friends why should I?
I’ll tell you why; because when you see these nobodies on television doing and saying all these stupid things, then you feel better about yourself don’t you? This is what it’s come to then; well if they are going to offer themselves up to be made fun of then I am going to oblige them.
So many reality shows, so little time.
Where do I start? Who am I kidding? I know where to start, with the group containing the most amount of human tissue and the least amount of grey matter, yes you guessed right, Jerseylicious.
Who in the world decided that we want to watch a show about a bunch of crazy chicks who do not know how to dress or put on makeup, yet work in a “Beauty” salon? Holy crap people; if I had to spend five minutes in a room with these... Uhhhh, (I don’t even know what I can call them without using a whole lot of special characters on my keyboard, I mean I only have so many after all) I would probably commit Hara-kiri with a spoon so it would hurt more. (Just a side note Hara-kiri is the normally spoken term for Seppuku, which is the Japanese ritual of suicide by disembowelment. I used it as it is the most familiar term to most people. See what you can learn by reading.)
Anyway back to the subject. Who else but their Jersey counterparts would put up with their crap? To be quite honest I’m not even sure they like them. I mean why would they? They have nothing to offer by way of meaningful conversation all they do is pick on each other. Don’t even get me started on Tracey and Olivia. If these two worked in a “real” salon they would have been fired long ago.
I am not unrealistic I know coworkers will have problems; I have been working my entire adult life. But let me tell you if I had been a part of something half as ridiculous as these girls (hey I’m twice their age I can call them girls) get into right in front of the clientele; I would have been fired in a New York minute. Pardon the pun; it’s what I do. I’m “like” a pun master. Yes I misused the word “like”. If you have watched the show for more than a minute you know what that is about. I just watched a video clip of Olivia Blois Sharpe (I know what you’re thinking, me too but I’m not going to go there) at www.writeonnewjersey.com it was her video biography, it was two minutes long and she used the word “like” like 19 times. I did it again, sorry.
Where does it end?
Ok when are we gonna say enough is enough? Have we really gone as far as we can go creatively? All signs seem to point to this. The film industry has remade virtually every cartoon show with live characters or CGI or Computer Generated Images( I know you knew what it meant but just in case the Jerseylicious girls happen to read this)sometimes both. Case in point The Flintstones, The Chipmunks, Yogi Bear just to name a few ( I was going to say Transformers but I really liked those movies) G.I. Joe; yes we’ll use that one instead. They have started remaking old movies at an alarming rate; True Grit, the Mechanic (are you sensing the pattern?) it just kind of creeps up on you like that vine that took over the concrete wall in your back yard. Ok it’s my back yard but the fact is if I’d nipped it in the bud, literally I would only have had to cut a couple of branches every month or so. Now we have a new reality television show every month; the newest being Nail Files. Nail Files, really?
If we do not start reading more we will make the movie Idiocracy the most prophetic movie of our time; and you know what that means. Oww My Balls will be the number one television show.
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